DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The gravelly baritone of cowboy-poet Sam Elliott could assuage the last nickel from a Cincinnati skin-flint. Elliott is the most sought after voice over artist in the western world. His warm, rough delivery of the written word could sell water to a well, sand to a beach, and stars to a clear midsummer’s night. But c’mon, let’s get serious here. A beach doesn’t have a wallet. It’s a beach. Use your doggone brain for more than thirty seconds and get your head in the game, Templeton. For Custer’s sake, you’re better than this. Now let’s all go rope something.