DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The friendly forest rangers at Jagged Stone National Park are not friendly. They are barely forest rangers. Their training is minimal and their contact with other human beings is purposefully limited. If you are hoping that they’ll lead you to that path where you can hike up to Victory-Slice Point to watch the sunset, you might as well buy a nice picture postcard in the gift shop, send it to yourself COD, and hop back in your Nissan Fuckyou, greenhorn.