Antiques Roadsale
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Antiques Roadsale is a harrowing voyage through the junk in America’s trunk. Our show travels the hills and dales of this great country, assessing and appraising marvels of patina-spackled history, Cobweb-covered memories, and things that just look like Civil War commuter mugs or some shit. Join us as we place absolutely arbitrary monetary value on heirlooms, artifacts, and garage sale horsefeathers. The Antiques Roadsale will be in your town soon, peeking under grandpa’s bed for some dusty olds and telling you what you could get for it. (Probably a Victorian claw-job.)
EPISODES: 4:4
The Legion of Doom
DIAGNOSIS: Schizotypal Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Led by criminal mastermind Lex Luthor, The Legion of Doom is a criminal syndicate hell-bent on destroying the venerable and beloved Superfriends. Turns out, they’ve tried just about everything. Seriously. They’re open to just about any idea at this point. Membership standards are at an all-time low at this point, so if you’re looking for a fun yet fruitless way to spend a few hours per week trying to end the lives of nearly invincible demigods dedicated to truth and justice with a near certainty of serious personal injury or even death, then The Legion of Doom might just be the ill-managed organization for you! Recruitment sessions happen every Wednesday starting at 5:30pm at the bulbous black metal dome down in the algae-slathered sinkhole behind the hardware store.
EPISODES: 4:4
Reverend Parsimony
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Each Sunday, Reverend Parsimony wakes up with the dawn, runs a cold comb through his rich, cloud-white hair, and marches down to the local parish to proselytize to a handful of absolute sinners. Wherever he goes, he warns townsfolk of the dangers of perdition with an awkward turn of phrase and a slight stutter. His fear-based old testament preaching style is the basis of his many self-published religious pamphlets including God Sword, A Guide To Hell’s Hot Wallpapers, and Say Your Prayers and Pray your Stairs.
SUPEREGO LIVE: September 27, 2014 • LA Podfest
PumpTV
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: PumpTV provides a much not-needed advertainment to gas station patrons around the United States. This is not your father’s gas station monitor garbage! The volume is all the way up and the information is as useless as a possible! Allow us to pollute your mind with short video blasts designed to waste your time, sap your energy, and test your very will to live! Go screw a wall socket!
EPISODES: 4:3
Listening To Looks At Books
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In 1989, Robert Crouj¢∞¶ᵃ∏ and a small group of friends started a book club which blossomed into the widely lauded National Public Radio program Listening To Looks At Books. What began as a frank discussion of literary releases has slowly atrophied into a tyrannical roundtable of utter nonsense. Authors pray to the paper gods that their books will not be the subject of the next, or any, episode.
EPISODES: 4:3
The Swampbucklers Stunt Spectacular
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Based loosely on the Broadway theatre flop of the same title, The Swampbucklers Stunt Spectacular is the gold standard of theme park stunt entertainment. Now in its 34th fun-filled season, this 8 minute show packs punches, thrills, spills, pyrotechnics and all the reclaimed non-potable water you can catch in your overpriced poncho, into one action-packed fuckfest. 21 Days without an accident!
EPISODES: 4:3
The Gorsock Murder Tour
DIAGNOSIS: Schizotypal Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In 1973, a mysterious, gruesome, and still unsolved murder occurred in the mansion of Harley Gorsock, noted philanthropist and alleged inventor of the bicycle tire. Then again, in 1976, 1979, 1980, 1983, 1984, 1989, 1990-1996, 1997, 2000, 2002 and probably in 2005, more mysterious, gruesome, and still unsolved murders occurred. The Gorsock Mansion, now inhabited by Miss Ursula Mädchen, has attracted unwanted notoriety as the top American tourist destination for people who would like to see a place where countless mysterious, gruesome, and still unsolved murders have occurred. The tours are not sanctioned by the city or state, nor are they allowed by law, as local and federal police are still searching for evidence. Closed Mondays.
EPISODES: 4:2
Cardinal Volpe’s Audio Mass
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Too busy to atone for your sins? No problem! With the convenience of Cardinal Volpe’s Audio Mass, you can give glory to God on the go. Praise his holy name while driving, while working out at the gym, or while sinning. Now available for Zune!
EPISODES: 4:2
The Jagged Stone Forest Rangers
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The friendly forest rangers at Jagged Stone National Park are not friendly. They are barely forest rangers. Their training is minimal and their contact with other human beings is purposefully limited. If you are hoping that they’ll lead you to that path where you can hike up to Victory-Slice Point to watch the sunset, you might as well buy a nice picture postcard in the gift shop, send it to yourself COD, and hop back in your Nissan Fuckyou, greenhorn.
EPISODES: 4:2
The Boys of Cell Block C
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: La Follette Federal Penitentiary is one of the toughest and most dangerous maximum security prisons in the United States, and most certainly Canada so keep your head on a swivel, rook. But only the toughest of the roughest get sent to Cell Block C. These inmates are subject to harsh conditions, brutal over-crowding, and a strict 10pm ‘lights-out’ policy. Watch your back, fresh meat. There’s a sharpened toothbrush handle with your name on it. Literally. Caligraphy-Dan does them for a hobby. But still, snitches get stitches, moochers get sutures, and chiselers get Twizzlers (in exchange for cigarettes).
EPISODES: 4:1
Ian Fleming
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Ian Fleming is a British author best known for his children’s story Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. He allegedly wrote some spy crap as well.
EPISODES: 4:1
Pamela Mills Portrait Studios
DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Pamela Mills Photo Studio is a registered tornado shelter and photography studio for children, adults, and some olds. The team at Pamela Mills can provide photography for proms, weddings, funerals, funeral-weddings, birthdays, baptisms, Tuesdays with Morrie, and just about any occasion you can think up! Closed on Sundays and Wednesdays from 2:30-4 for floor-to-ceiling bleach-downs.
EPISODES: 4:1
Neko Case
DIAGNOSIS: Delusional Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Alt-country songstress Neko Case and regular-country songstress Shunt McGuppin once joined forces to make an album of duets entitled (by Shunt) ‘Two-ets.’ They got about this far.
EPISODES: 4:1
The Whittwood Branch Public Library
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Whittwood Branch Public Library is a fortress of knowledge, held hostage by tyrannical overlord/librarian Galen Tuolomne and his menagerie of homeless minions. They are sworn to protect Whittier’s ancient tomes and hallowed scrippage. Established, 1981.
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 2
Roller Coaster Country
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Roller Coaster Country is over 7,200 acres of pure American adrenaline and employs over 7,200 pure American high school drop outs! Grab an ice-cold cola and ride roller coasters until your stomach cries uncle like the little bitch it is. Fuck your stomach. Fuck you! Your ticket is a legally binding contract which releases Roller Coaster Country of all responsibility in case of lost limbs, found limbs, lost children, found children, lost lives, or found lives (like finding God and such). Your home for summer fun and year-long nausea: Roller Coaster Country!
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 2
Sorensen Youth Instructionals
DIAGNOSIS: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Sorensen Youth Instructionals teaches you everything you need to get by in life as long as your life is really limited. Let us instruct you in the comfort of your own home using the power of high fidelity sound recording. How to tie knots! Probate Law! Windsurfing! What that little piece of skin on your uncle Gary’s neck is all about! Learn it all with Sorensen Youth Instructionals!
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 2
Keith The Doorman
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Keith The Doorman will hold the door for you, hold a package for you, and hold you when that trollop Stephanie tells you she’s been seeing her pottery instructor again and while it’s just a casual thing, you’re pretty sure she’s got a regular punch-card and the boneyard.
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 2
George Zimmer
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: George Zimmer guarantees that you’re going to like the way you look.*
* But not look the way you like.
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 1
The Helpton Inn
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Helpton Inn is a national chain of hotels that keeps the savvy business traveler in mind. Free continental dinner, lightning slow wi-fi, beds, and an onslaught of proven methods to make sure you wake up in time for that quarterly sales meeting with Thick Jerry, the Mailroom Slow.
SUPEREGO: BEHIND THE BONUS: SEASON 3: PART 1
Celebrity Singles
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Celebrity Singles debuted in 1959 and remained on the air for a non-record 4 months. In its brief run on channel 15 and a half, Celebrity Singles managed to pair up one couple. They broke up minutes after. In 1967, Host Scott Poundesssssst was found bludgeoned to death in a Howard Johnson’s luggage closet.
SUPEREGO LIVE: May 3, 2013 • UCB / January 25, 2014 • SF Sketchfest / September 27, 2014 • LA Podfest
Bishop Aaron Phillips Shemnon
DIAGNOSIS: Schizotypal Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: A steadfast pillar of the deep Mormon faith, Bishop Aaron Phillips Shemnon has been an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Former-Day Saints since he was just a little Illuminato. Brother Shemnon briefly left the church in 1973 to explore caffeine and its cataclysmic effects but returned stronger than ever. He has performed over one hundred weddings on forty three different planets and loves a good fistful of unsalted almonds before slapping on some ceremonial garb and joining two young souls in blissful, galactic harmony. Praise Christ! (The North American one.) If you ask nicely, Aaron Phillips Shemnon will teach you how to change your underwear without taking off your underwear.
EPISODES: 3:16
Viv Evenssen
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Vivian Evenssen’s mind roams a vast tangential landscape. She can’t/won’t pay attention to anything and please never ask her to do two tasks at once, remember any information, or listen ever. Viv currently resides on America’s roadways.
EPISODES: 3:16
God’s Crazy Monsters!
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Ain’t creation fun? At God’s Crazy Monsters museum and fuckin’ fun park you’ll learn why carbon dating is for sin-people and dinosaurs are assholes! Ride the water slide with Jesus, take a complimentary Capri-Sun communion, and hunt your very own baby triceratops! God’s Crazy Monsters!*
*Located inside the Sunoco.
SUPEREGO LIVE: January 25, 2014 • SF Sketchfest
SUPERSHORT: God’s Crazy Monsters
Nurse Edith Burningman
DIAGNOSIS: Avoidant Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: With the gentle touch of a hobbyist health care provider, Nurse Edith Burningman helps students and faculty members through medical crises with the greatest of ease. As long as it can be treated with a bandage or a couple of dollars, Nurse Edith is your lady. She’s horrified at the sight of blood, withers at the very thought of a broken bone, and had to leave a screening of The Brave Little Toaster because it was too violent. Other than those and several other hang-ups and phobias, your children are in good, if trembling, hands with Nurse Edith Burningman.
EPISODES: 3:16