Mixogynists
DIAGNOSIS: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Brick Barrett and Tam Faulkner are New Mexico certified ‘Libation Chemists.’ Their touring tavern show celebrates the finer points of cocktail culture and has entertained and educated tens of people across America. They are tirelessly searching for that golden recipe that will get a woman drunk enough to sleep with either one of them. Or both of them. Or one could just watch. Whatever’s easiest for you.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
The Kawai River Mercenary Squad
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: They’re armed. They’re dangerous. They’re stupid.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Sammy The Cat
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Whether he be chasing a mouse, nipping at some yarn, or just pawing at his owner, Sammy the cat is a great household pet and lover.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Linda Staven
DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Ms. Linda Staven has been teaching 5th grade English since 8:30 AM this morning.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Amigo Auto Insurance
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The boys down at Amigo Auto Insurance are real go-getters. When you need to file a claim, they’ll get going.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club was not as organized as you might think. In fact it was really an ad-hoc organization thrown together in the last days of 2018. You know, after the global cooling spiraled out of control.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Boothroyd’s House of Rare Antiquities
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Boothroyd’s House of Rare Antiquities prides itself on providing the finest objet d’art, collectibles, and bullshit tchotchkes.
EPISODES: 2:16
The Sea Town Splashaholic Spectacular
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: See jet-ski adventure! Killer whale acrobatics! And over three hours of pre-show entertainment(?)!
EPISODES: 2:16
The Thorn Christian Fellowship
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Get salvation. Get saved. Get stuffed.
EPISODES: 2:16
Guillermo Lee
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Guillermo Lee inappropriately helps people act appropriately.
EPISODES: 2:15 / 3:5
NASA Mission Control
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In the early days of NASA, decisions weren’t made with analytics and research; decisions were made with balls. Big, brass balls. It was a man’s world. A confusing, analog man’s world with pictures of naked ladies scotch-taped to the mainframes, where supervisors were your drinking buddies, and no one cared if you came into work smelling like a Las Vegas peepbooth. As long as you did your job and got those birds in the sky, no one ever said word one. Some say that these halcyon days of cigarettes and satellites are long gone, but research shows that these space-cowboys are still mounting up and riding high.
So You Wanna Go To Space?
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: So You Wanna Go To Space? is The Network Channel’s flagship science program, brought to you by those dicks over at the CSULB physics department. These guys are the real deal. Where deal=dicks.
EPISODES: 2:14
Smithsonian Audio Tours
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Why not take an educational guided-tour through the hallowed halls of America’s greatest cultural institution? Experience the wit and wisdom of Mark Twain, the picturesque reflections of Ansel Adams, and the plaintive mating whispers of Danielle Steel.
The annals of the Smithsonian run deep and run wide. This continuing series of audio tours will guide visitors through a variety of rarely seen archives and exhibits. Visitors will leave educated, informed, and confused. You’ll come back time and time again for the Smithsonian Audio Tours celebrated exhibits on history, pop culture, and other American bullshit.
EPISODES: 2:14 / 2:17 / 3:2 / 3:4
Beauregard Dufresne
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: As the world’s oldest living Civil War veteran, Beauregard Dufresne would like you to know he’s banged a lot of high class, antebellum trim.
EPISODES: 2:13
Campfire With Roy Cabras
With guest speaker Cameron Skench
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Roy Cabras is a certified licensed men’s trust circle facilitator. Mr. Cabras is expert in the fields of Yoga, Tai Chi, firewalking, The Art of War, The Triangle Offense, Flugtag, rhythmic gymnastics, and binge drinking. His breakout sessions are kept small: 5-10 men stare into the void and come back stronger, sturdier, and straighter. There are no anger issues he hasn’t seen before, you giant, giant pussy. Each and every Campfire™ meeting brings a new congregation of sad sacks; including corporate middle-managers, milquetoast husbands, and some Koreans.
EPISODES: 2:13 / 2:17 / 3:6 / 3:8 / 3:12
My Baby Dreamer
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: This season’s hottest toy! Recommended for ages 21 and older, or hill- children who are ‘good with a knife.’ My Baby Dreamer is the toy to end all toys — quite literally. This toy will murder all of your children’s favorite playthings with a soldering gun. My Baby Dreamer loves to exhibit her(?) eerie and macabre ways of making playtime fun. Accessories include lead pacifier, pepper spray bottle, and ‘Barky’ the asbestos beagle.
The Golden Dusk Assisted Living Bingo Club
DIAGNOSIS: Old Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Welcome to the Thunderdome.
The Hollywood Golden Guild Awards
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Hollywood Golden Guild Awards is a not-for-profit, profit division of the Hollywood Golden Guild Awards.
EPISODES: 2:12
Carl Sagan
DIAGNOSIS: Poetic Genius Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Astro-physicist. Astro-philosopher. Astro-poet. Carl Sagan spins soothing astral yarns and tantalizing tone poems of galactic wonderment. Bound in the terrestrial confines of a tight turtleneck sweater, he travels through spacetime in a starship of discovery, imagination, and nonsense. Relax and let his wordsongs whisk you away to another dimension. Voyage with Carl Sagan astride a team of stellar palominos to the distant moons of Jupiter and the warm folds of his interplanetary bed sheets.
EPISODES: 2:11
Bruce And Ed with Kit, Klaus, And Xiong
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Bruce ‘The Throat’ Hume and Ed ‘The Inflection’ Olivas are proud to be joined by Kit ‘The Lullaby’ Le Fevre, Klause ‘The Glottis’ Hergesheimer, and Xiong ‘The Diphthong’ Wong for this very special endtimes commercial.
EPISODES: 2:11
Audio Book Classics
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Audio Book Classics have adorned the shelves of all of American Somoa for nearly months.
EPISODES: 2:9
Pete Balch
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Poor Pete Balch. Recently widowed when his wife died years ago, he sought to ease his loneliness by opening the Let’s Call It A Draw Trophy Shoppe; a store where you can buy such trophies as ‘Second Place in Facial Recognition,’ ‘Car Wash of the Decade,’ and ‘Best Vein.’ His wife recently died and also his wife died recently.
Pete Balch is the Hotel California of men: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. His store is the kind of business that somehow stays open year in, year out, despite Balch’s complete inability to complete a simple transaction. The tedium of listening to him go on about his dead wife is overpowered only by the guilt you’d have in telling him to, ‘please for the love of all things big and small, shut your hole.’
Balch subjects his customers to unwanted lunch dates, stories of wars he wasn’t in, and descriptions of things that look swollen to him. Anyone who will listen is going to get more than an earful. He pushes the boundaries of the customer-salesman relationship at the expense of ever selling a single trophy.
EPISODES: 2:9 / 2:12 / 2:15 / 2:17 / 3:2 / Supershort 8
Heartlines with Mark Ripalapedes
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Mark Ripalapedes helps the lovelorn of Los Angeles whisper sweet nothings across the airwaves of The Shore 104.4. (Where lovelorn = dipshits.)
EPISODES: 2:8 / 2:11 / 2:13 / 3:1 / 3:3 / 3:10
Father Aldini
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Father Gerry Aldini of the St. Catherine’s Of Our Lady’s Issues parish is a respected man of the cloth. Aldini is the only member of his seminary class to triple-major in Modern Religion, Aramaic, and Criminal Profiling. His congregants praise his soft, calming voice and God-given ability to shred on the electric upright bass (which has earned him the nickname ‘Devil-Worshipper’). This is his 42nd mandatory relocation.
EPISODES: 2:7 / 3:4