The Orchard Glen High School Faculty
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Orchard Glen High School for girls and boys is one of the largest public high schools in America. It melds methods of education from all walks of life. The school is known for their commitment to excellence, their diverse student body, and their litany of morning school announcements. At times, these bulletins stretch well into third period mandatory shop class. If information is power, then this facility is a bright burning educational bulb.
In addition to a traditional education, Orchard Glen offers a cornucopia of extra-curricular activities, after-school programs, and a wide variety of alternative learning. There is also a strict hiring criteria at Orchard Glen High School. One must have their own transportation.
Eddy Buggy
DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In his seventh year at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, Eddy Buggy is slowly cracking the hard-boiled egg of acting. A method actor to the bitter end, Buggy has been known to delve into characters so deeply, that when he finally emerges, he is dead. His commitment to the craft has led to an odd series of interviews as characters acting as characters. He is currently doing Sky Masterson doing Willy Loman doing Caliban. You’ve got to see this shit.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
The White Collar Comedy Tour
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: They’re back! The finest fiscally conservative comics telling their finest fiscally conservative jokes to the finest fiscally conservative audiences around! Most topics are off limits! It’s a laugh a minute with several minutes of silence to contemplate the slow erosion of our great nation at the hands of socialism and other races.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
The History Network
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The History Network dusts off old footage from a bygone era and brings it straight to the homes of only the people from that era. Adhering to the notion that ‘history repeats itself,’ the station plays the same episode of ‘Ancient Civilizations: The Canadians’ on constant repeat.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
Mixogynists
DIAGNOSIS: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Brick Barrett and Tam Faulkner are New Mexico certified ‘Libation Chemists.’ Their touring tavern show celebrates the finer points of cocktail culture and has entertained and educated tens of people across America. They are tirelessly searching for that golden recipe that will get a woman drunk enough to sleep with either one of them. Or both of them. Or one could just watch. Whatever’s easiest for you.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
The Kawai River Mercenary Squad
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: They’re armed. They’re dangerous. They’re stupid.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Sammy The Cat
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Whether he be chasing a mouse, nipping at some yarn, or just pawing at his owner, Sammy the cat is a great household pet and lover.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Linda Staven
DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Ms. Linda Staven has been teaching 5th grade English since 8:30 AM this morning.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Amigo Auto Insurance
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The boys down at Amigo Auto Insurance are real go-getters. When you need to file a claim, they’ll get going.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club was not as organized as you might think. In fact it was really an ad-hoc organization thrown together in the last days of 2018. You know, after the global cooling spiraled out of control.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Boothroyd’s House of Rare Antiquities
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Boothroyd’s House of Rare Antiquities prides itself on providing the finest objet d’art, collectibles, and bullshit tchotchkes.
EPISODES: 2:16
The Sea Town Splashaholic Spectacular
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: See jet-ski adventure! Killer whale acrobatics! And over three hours of pre-show entertainment(?)!
EPISODES: 2:16
Hervé Villechaize
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Actor, Artist, Lady-pleaser. Hervé has got more balls in his little balls than any man-jack out there. He’ll just as soon butterfly-knife you in the belly as uncork a Bolinger ’75 with his tiny Belgian tongue. Are you a leggy starlet with a sense of adventure? Good, you can hang with Hervé. Are you a tall leading man with bottomless charisma? Go fuck yourself on a rickshaw, Hervé don’t like you. Come with ‘Good Hervé’ and ‘Bad Hervé’ through a series of on-set interviews and discotheque quickies.
The Thorn Christian Fellowship
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Get salvation. Get saved. Get stuffed.
EPISODES: 2:16
Guillermo Lee
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Guillermo Lee inappropriately helps people act appropriately.
EPISODES: 2:15 / 3:5
NASA Mission Control
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In the early days of NASA, decisions weren’t made with analytics and research; decisions were made with balls. Big, brass balls. It was a man’s world. A confusing, analog man’s world with pictures of naked ladies scotch-taped to the mainframes, where supervisors were your drinking buddies, and no one cared if you came into work smelling like a Las Vegas peepbooth. As long as you did your job and got those birds in the sky, no one ever said word one. Some say that these halcyon days of cigarettes and satellites are long gone, but research shows that these space-cowboys are still mounting up and riding high.
The Remington County Folk Festival and Electronics Expo
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: It’s the 71st annual Remington Folk Festival and the 1st annual Electronics Expo! There will be hog’s blood.
EPISODES: 2:15
So You Wanna Go To Space?
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: So You Wanna Go To Space? is The Network Channel’s flagship science program, brought to you by those dicks over at the CSULB physics department. These guys are the real deal. Where deal=dicks.
EPISODES: 2:14
Sir Dame Andrew Lloyd Webber
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is arguably the most successful composer of our time. He is best known for stage and film adaptations of his musicals Jesus Christ Superstar, Cats, Evita, and The Phantom of the Opera. He sometimes gets in on in a Rum Tum Tugger costume.
EPISODES: 2:14 / 2:17 / 3:7
Smithsonian Audio Tours
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Why not take an educational guided-tour through the hallowed halls of America’s greatest cultural institution? Experience the wit and wisdom of Mark Twain, the picturesque reflections of Ansel Adams, and the plaintive mating whispers of Danielle Steel.
The annals of the Smithsonian run deep and run wide. This continuing series of audio tours will guide visitors through a variety of rarely seen archives and exhibits. Visitors will leave educated, informed, and confused. You’ll come back time and time again for the Smithsonian Audio Tours celebrated exhibits on history, pop culture, and other American bullshit.
EPISODES: 2:14 / 2:17 / 3:2 / 3:4
Beauregard Dufresne
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: As the world’s oldest living Civil War veteran, Beauregard Dufresne would like you to know he’s banged a lot of high class, antebellum trim.
EPISODES: 2:13
Larry Tetlock
DIAGNOSIS: Schizotypal Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Larry Tetlock was struck by lightening in his Toyota Prius and has since become a Phoenician Death Oracle. He also calls games for the minor league Matador Baseball.
EPISODES: 2:13
Campfire With Roy Cabras
With guest speaker Cameron Skench
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Roy Cabras is a certified licensed men’s trust circle facilitator. Mr. Cabras is expert in the fields of Yoga, Tai Chi, firewalking, The Art of War, The Triangle Offense, Flugtag, rhythmic gymnastics, and binge drinking. His breakout sessions are kept small: 5-10 men stare into the void and come back stronger, sturdier, and straighter. There are no anger issues he hasn’t seen before, you giant, giant pussy. Each and every Campfire™ meeting brings a new congregation of sad sacks; including corporate middle-managers, milquetoast husbands, and some Koreans.
EPISODES: 2:13 / 2:17 / 3:6 / 3:8 / 3:12
My Baby Dreamer
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: This season’s hottest toy! Recommended for ages 21 and older, or hill- children who are ‘good with a knife.’ My Baby Dreamer is the toy to end all toys — quite literally. This toy will murder all of your children’s favorite playthings with a soldering gun. My Baby Dreamer loves to exhibit her(?) eerie and macabre ways of making playtime fun. Accessories include lead pacifier, pepper spray bottle, and ‘Barky’ the asbestos beagle.