The History Network
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The History Network dusts off old footage from a bygone era and brings it straight to the homes of only the people from that era. Adhering to the notion that ‘history repeats itself,’ the station plays the same episode of ‘Ancient Civilizations: The Canadians’ on constant repeat.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
Mixogynists
DIAGNOSIS: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Brick Barrett and Tam Faulkner are New Mexico certified ‘Libation Chemists.’ Their touring tavern show celebrates the finer points of cocktail culture and has entertained and educated tens of people across America. They are tirelessly searching for that golden recipe that will get a woman drunk enough to sleep with either one of them. Or both of them. Or one could just watch. Whatever’s easiest for you.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 2
The Kawai River Mercenary Squad
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: They’re armed. They’re dangerous. They’re stupid.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
Sammy The Cat
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Whether he be chasing a mouse, nipping at some yarn, or just pawing at his owner, Sammy the cat is a great household pet and lover.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Brownriver Township Survivor’s Club was not as organized as you might think. In fact it was really an ad-hoc organization thrown together in the last days of 2018. You know, after the global cooling spiraled out of control.
EPISODES: Superego Second Opinions Part 1
The Thorn Christian Fellowship
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Get salvation. Get saved. Get stuffed.
EPISODES: 2:16
Guillermo Lee
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Guillermo Lee inappropriately helps people act appropriately.
EPISODES: 2:15 / 3:5
NASA Mission Control
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In the early days of NASA, decisions weren’t made with analytics and research; decisions were made with balls. Big, brass balls. It was a man’s world. A confusing, analog man’s world with pictures of naked ladies scotch-taped to the mainframes, where supervisors were your drinking buddies, and no one cared if you came into work smelling like a Las Vegas peepbooth. As long as you did your job and got those birds in the sky, no one ever said word one. Some say that these halcyon days of cigarettes and satellites are long gone, but research shows that these space-cowboys are still mounting up and riding high.
The Remington County Folk Festival and Electronics Expo
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: It’s the 71st annual Remington Folk Festival and the 1st annual Electronics Expo! There will be hog’s blood.
EPISODES: 2:15
So You Wanna Go To Space?
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: So You Wanna Go To Space? is The Network Channel’s flagship science program, brought to you by those dicks over at the CSULB physics department. These guys are the real deal. Where deal=dicks.
EPISODES: 2:14
Sir Dame Andrew Lloyd Webber
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is arguably the most successful composer of our time. He is best known for stage and film adaptations of his musicals Jesus Christ Superstar, Cats, Evita, and The Phantom of the Opera. He sometimes gets in on in a Rum Tum Tugger costume.
EPISODES: 2:14 / 2:17 / 3:7
Smithsonian Audio Tours
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Why not take an educational guided-tour through the hallowed halls of America’s greatest cultural institution? Experience the wit and wisdom of Mark Twain, the picturesque reflections of Ansel Adams, and the plaintive mating whispers of Danielle Steel.
The annals of the Smithsonian run deep and run wide. This continuing series of audio tours will guide visitors through a variety of rarely seen archives and exhibits. Visitors will leave educated, informed, and confused. You’ll come back time and time again for the Smithsonian Audio Tours celebrated exhibits on history, pop culture, and other American bullshit.
EPISODES: 2:14 / 2:17 / 3:2 / 3:4
Larry Tetlock
DIAGNOSIS: Schizotypal Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Larry Tetlock was struck by lightening in his Toyota Prius and has since become a Phoenician Death Oracle. He also calls games for the minor league Matador Baseball.
EPISODES: 2:13
Campfire With Roy Cabras
With guest speaker Cameron Skench
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Roy Cabras is a certified licensed men’s trust circle facilitator. Mr. Cabras is expert in the fields of Yoga, Tai Chi, firewalking, The Art of War, The Triangle Offense, Flugtag, rhythmic gymnastics, and binge drinking. His breakout sessions are kept small: 5-10 men stare into the void and come back stronger, sturdier, and straighter. There are no anger issues he hasn’t seen before, you giant, giant pussy. Each and every Campfire™ meeting brings a new congregation of sad sacks; including corporate middle-managers, milquetoast husbands, and some Koreans.
EPISODES: 2:13 / 2:17 / 3:6 / 3:8 / 3:12
The Golden Dusk Assisted Living Bingo Club
DIAGNOSIS: Old Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Welcome to the Thunderdome.
The Hollywood Golden Guild Awards
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Hollywood Golden Guild Awards is a not-for-profit, profit division of the Hollywood Golden Guild Awards.
EPISODES: 2:12
Bruce And Ed with Kit, Klaus, And Xiong
DIAGNOSIS: Dependent Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Bruce ‘The Throat’ Hume and Ed ‘The Inflection’ Olivas are proud to be joined by Kit ‘The Lullaby’ Le Fevre, Klause ‘The Glottis’ Hergesheimer, and Xiong ‘The Diphthong’ Wong for this very special endtimes commercial.
EPISODES: 2:11
Lee Bell
DIAGNOSIS: Schizoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Seasonal Santa Claus and jumpsuit wearer, Lee Bell is fond of planning for his future. he plans for his future sometimes 3-5 times a day.
EPISODES: 2:9
Supreme Court Nominee Roger Contreras
DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The odds are not looking good.
EPISODES: 2:8
FUN-FACT: Roger Contreras is Charla Corbin-Contreras’s half-father.
The Gentleman’s Collar
DIAGNOSIS: Crooch Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Gentleman’s Collar has quality questionable women men-women available for your viewing pleasure discomfort.
EPISODES: 2:8
Starcharters
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: The Starcharters Zoroastrian Zodiac society will tell you your fortune and then tell you the price.
EPISODES: 2:7 / Superego Second Opinions Part 2
Dr. Bill Hoobing
DIAGNOSIS: Avoidant Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Dr. Bill Hoobing went to medical school at… Um. He did his residency at… Where was that now? Oh yeah, I like gardening.
EPISODES: 2:6
Sir Ian McKellen
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Sir Ian McKellen is a national English treasure. He is an award winning actor and thespian. Also, he really gets into bathing people.
EPISODES: 2:6
Hashimoto Wellness Labs
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: In 1973, Takahiro Hashimoto set out to create a new standard in the improvement of the health and well being of children everywhere. His patented comprehensive 21-point emotional spectrum sensory test is the industry standard in wellness information acquisition and juvenile confusion. Hashimoto Wellness Labs is helping the youth of America to see better, hear better, cry better.
EPISODES: 2:6 / 3:7 / 3:11 / Supershort 11