DIAGNOSIS: Antisocial Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Ain’t creation fun? At God’s Crazy Monsters museum and fuckin’ fun park you’ll learn why carbon dating is for sin-people and dinosaurs are assholes! Ride the water slide with Jesus, take a complimentary Capri-Sun communion, and hunt your very own baby triceratops! God’s Crazy Monsters!*
*Located inside the Sunoco.
DIAGNOSIS: Histrionic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Premiering in 1976, The Family Feud remains America’s fourth favorite game show! For decades, the Feud has surveyed 100 people, put the top answers on the board, and let family members who can’t stand to look at each other pool their collective knowledge and instinct to win some really semi-fabulous prizes. Catch the Family Feud Fever! (Currently, there is no cure for Family Feud Fever.)
DIAGNOSIS: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Why commit planetary genocide? Because it’s there, that’s why. General Zod is the megalomaniac’s megalomaniac. Cunning and powerful, he spits in the face of Kryptonian law and decorum. He is the very embodiment of the galactic Superego. Together with his publicly appointed defender, Leg-El, General Zod has faced trial after tribulation in Kryptonian courts, the waste moon of Wegthor, and even the dreaded Phantom Zone. Will he face off against his arch-nemesis, Superman? Or will he instead force himself ahead of an old lady in a gas station bathroom line? The latter, probably. General Zod, what a tit. He also hand-crafts his own patent-leather tunics.*
DIAGNOSIS: Paranoid Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: Legendary gothic artist H.R. Giger, famous for his design of the eponymous ‘Alien’ in Ridley Scott’s classic film, is a man of enormous talent and frequent night terrors. His illustration and sculptures have remained heavily influential in the science-fiction, cyberpunk, and nightmare-birthfetish genres. He loves being interviewed.
DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality Disorder
CASE HISTORY: When the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, FBI, CIA, ATF, Local Police, Army Reserves, and Boy Scout Troop 140 aren’t enough to stop the impending terror of COBRA, G.I. Joe is there. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is experience. The other half after that is luck. And honest to God, the remaining other half is taking a bath with some candles once a week. Can you believe that? Anyway, yo Joe!
SUPEREGO LIVE: May 3 UCB